As you may or may not know, my current work in progress (the main one) and I have had a bit of a history. I started it many MANY years ago, and at one point, nearly finished it. Then I stalled. Like massive stall ended up completely going away from it, it’s now been over five years since I first started the stall.
I recently got back at it, and at first, I was overjoyed. Now I am stalling again, and I just don’t know what to think about it.
Has it been too long? Maybe my writing has changed too much, and I need to let this one go. Perhaps I need to let it morph into something else more reflective of who I currently am?
Is it just that I am having a hard time? It has not been the best of times for any of us. Not only that, but I had been so focused in on editing for so long that my writing muscles were not used enough. Maybe if I power through, I will get back to the excitement?
Does it just not need to be my main focus and instead a side writing project for a while?
I really don’t know. Other than to know that struggling with it only makes me more upset, which only makes it harder to write, and the more confused I get about how to move forward.
At one point, I was so damn proud of it and so excited for it. What if it is still a great story, what if that excitement is still underneath it all, what if I am just struggling and about to walk away from something I shouldn’t? Maybe I am just not trying hard enough, maybe I am just afraid to complete anything (a problem I do have and am working on).
Or what if it’s a sign. That it was something that meant a lot to me in my mid-20s but simply… doesn’t anymore? Not with age and growing as a writer.
In my gut, I know that completely giving up on it would be a mistake. However, I honestly can’t say if I need to take yet another break, work on something else, and go back to the drawing board. Or if I need to just push myself through the rough draft and then go from there, see how I feel after.
I honestly don’t know or who to talk to or how to move forward.
I just feel… lost. I need to be working on something right now. I need to be making progress to getting another creative work completed and out there. Which only adds to the confusion and pressure because if I stop now and have to restart on something else, were all these months wasted?
I think I need a couple weeks. Work on something else. Then see.