I’ve been focusing mostly on editing lately because I have been really struggling with my writing. I am sure you’ve noticed this by an increasing lack of personal posts on the blog, and even when they do make it, they are rather short.
It’s not just the blog though, my creative writing has been really suffering lately as well. Months ago I decided that I would start writing more short stories again and make time for side projects. I did this because I felt burnt out just focusing on one thing. The problem is I think I might have caught the issue a little too late.
Between the burnout and then my massive depression spikes this year I just can’t get motivated or inspired to write.
I am glad I am editing, so something is getting done, and my Impressions pieces seem to be going well enough, but everything else is just… not.
I finally started the “exploring” series for the blog and got a post up, only to be stalled entirely with it.
I find myself pacing around my house trying to come up with something to write about for the blog other than just Impressions pieces.
I stare blankly at empty word documents struggling to get started on a short story, or a new longer piece to fill my time with sometimes.
I keep wanting to apply for other websites only to feel worried that if I do now, I won’t be able to produce enough,
I am watching the quality of what I do manage to write, suffer greatly, and that’s after struggling to get it out.
I know we’ve all kind of decided that writer’s block is bullshit and you just have to “do it,” and for the most part, I agree with that sentiment. If you are waiting to be inspired, you will spend more time waiting than actually writing. However, there are times, be it writer’s block, or your creative tank running on empty, or I don’t know what, but times where it just feels impossible.
And damn it all, I am in one of those times.
It also doesn’t help that it’s a cycle, and the more you seem to stress over not being able to write the harder it becomes.
In spite of how negative this post is, I am actually, shockingly, hopeful. As I said, I am still editing, so some progress is being made in my writing career, and I am still able to produce some content for the blog. My writing hasn’t wholly stalled out, which it has in the past. I also just feel better than I have in a while.
I don’t like that I am not writing, I don’t like that I am struggling with it, but I don’t feel like this will be a forever problem.
For now, I just have to keep doing what I can do and just keep trying to tap back into my creativity, muse, whatever the hell people call it.
Hopefully, I will get there soon and produce more and better content for everybody. Write more like I have been able to in the past when things are going well.
Maybe the secret is not trying so hard? All I know is that for once I believe I will get there.