For the last… several months now, I have just felt so exhausted. Emotionally, mentally, and it’s bleeding through into physically as well. I want to make changes, to be more productive, to do better, but I just feel so drained. Like every day merely waking up and getting out of bed is just too much and too hard. I can’t even cry because I just feel like I have nothing left. It’s so hard to feel this way. I keep trying to fake it, to pull myself out, to just drive through, but it gets to be so hard.
Most days I just want to lay in bed and just quit.
I get so mad at myself because I am not doing enough.
But it’s so hard when I am this tired.
Even the smallest things feel like I am attempting to scale a mountain so I can’t even imagine tackling the challenges that I truly need to face down.
I don’t know what it is. If it’s just my normal depression, fatigue from everything happening in the world and my life, that I am letting the overwhelming feeling of failure take control, all of the above…
I’m just so exhausted.
I want to just crawl into bed and sleep for the next five years.
I will keep pushing through, I will keep attempting to fake it to make it, I will keep trying to climb the mountains in my life, I will hopefully get back into therapy, and on medication soon, I will come out on the other side of this.
I am just exhausted right now.