Drowning Again

I’ve written, tweeted, etc before about feeling like I am drowning and I am back there. This whole move has massively damaged my motivation, schedule, and routine. I am still incredibly grateful. We are in a nicer place (overall), in a nicer neighborhood, spending less money, and just a down right better situation. However when the move first started there were roadblocks and hiccups and they just don’t seem to be slowing down.

I took a break from my writing and Twitch in order to prepare for the move and it ended up being longer than planned thanks to issues with getting things finalized with the house. Now that we are here there have been rather major issues that just keep stacking up. No AC during the middle of a heat wave, sewer problems, major issues with the fridge (that have meant we’ve replaced it multiple times). On top of that, we’ve had people coming over wanting to spend the day with us, Ben is back at work which halts our progress completely at times. I just feel like I can’t catch a break.

I hate complaining, I hate whining, especially when everything about this is better in the long run. It’s just… it’s hard sometimes and right now is one of those times. I was supposed to be back to streaming and I’ve only managed to stream once this whole month. I was supposed to get back to my writing and that has not been going well. My efforts to lose weight and be healthier have all but been halted. I’m tired, I’m stressed, I’m just not in the best place.

I want just a moment to breath. To get myself more focused, to make myself feel better mentally, to not spend all day feeling like I am playing catch up and then all night being unproductive because I am just so drained. I know things will level out and get better but I am just so exhausted and sick of waiting for it.

In spite of how beat down I feel at this moment I know it will get better. I already feel better simply writing this out and getting it off my chest. I know I can power through and I know I can make more time to remain motivated on my everyday things as well as make more progress with the house. I will keep on doing what I must and though I might feel like I am drowning I will keep my head about water and someday soon this will pass. The house will be complete, the major issues will be handled, and I can start focusing on me and the things I want/need to do to make our lives better.

Alright, time to tackle what’s next.

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I am a writer and streamer by trade. A gamer, reader, and all around nerd by hobby ;)

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