I find as time goes on one struggle that remains with me is the inability to get it all together at once. I am able to find success in certain areas, but never drive myself to find success in them all. If Twitch is going well my writing suffers. If my article/blog writing is going well my creative writing is stalled. If I am doing better at taking care of myself other aspects of my life are falling by the wayside.
It’s hard to look at this and say, “Well I’m doing great”, because I’m not. I am not doing great in all the ways I need/want to. It’s hard to focus on what’s going right when I know that so much is going wrong.
I need to drive myself and push to do well in all areas. To take care of my body, my mind, my emotional health. To succeed at Twitch and all aspects of writing. To keep up with my husband, family, and social life.
If it’s not enough to just take my small successes. Of course I shouldn’t ignore them and spend time constantly feeling like I am not doing enough. However, I cannot just accept this half life anymore. I need everything to come together.
I don’t know if it means working on a better schedule to make sure I have time for everything. Or if it means really forcing myself to focus and try harder. Whatever it is, I need to find it and apply it to myself so that I can meet all the challenges in my life head on, and set myself up to succeed in all things and not just some.